


Your Life is Perfect

by Kourihime



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst?, Depression, F/F, I feel bad omg, Kouri out here writing the good fics???, Rejection, mention of suicidal thoughts, nahhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-17 04:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16968123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kourihime/pseuds/Kourihime
Summary: Aoba Moca has a wonderful life. She has tons of friends, gets the best grades, and is super good at everything she does. She's hilarious and dependable, she never cries and she never messes up. She has no doubts and she certainly has no reasons to hate herself. But most importantly, Moca-chan loves Ran. Unfortunately.Moca-chan is Mocatastic. Haha.Moca x Ran, angst fic about depression and rejection, suicidal thoughts mentioned but aren't a main focus, background YukiLisa





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kouri is back! Hopefully you didn't miss me after so long. That's funny because I started writing this the day I uploaded my last story (which if you haven't checked it out yet you shouuuuld, it's a lot less sad than this one!) where I mentioned a cool Moca x Ran fic I was working on.
> 
> Okay so this is my first multi-chapter work on this page but one thing that's so sad about awesome multi-chapter fics is that people struggle to finish them, so I've wrote out my plans for each chapter of this entire story ahead of time and I'll have a steady upload schedule where I'll upload once a week (or quicker?) to guarantee that this doesn't happen. For now, I hope you enjoy reading through this mess of a first chapter!
> 
> Thank you, and enjoy!

The soft, cold December breeze ran its way across the streets, wrapping its way around those unfortunate enough to not be bundled up enough for the time of the year. Thankfully, two girls who weren't dressed for the weather still found solace behind the glass doors of the local convenience store.

"Lisa-san~, how many more are there?" Aoba Moca looked up from the rows and rows of snacks, towards the counter where her friend was idly tapping a pen against the glass.

"Two, Moca. I thought you counted them before you started stocking them?" Lisa looked over her shoulder and over to two cardboard boxes, one stacked on the other, labelled with the bright logos of big companies, or at least big enough to send shipments over to a small convenience store like the one the girls worked at.

"Oh, I did." Moca flattened the box in her hands as she walked behind the counter to grab the second box of shipments.

"Are you alright, Moca?" Her friend flashed a concerned smile, not received as the ivory-haired girl was busy looking down at the box. "You've been a lot quieter today. And forgetful. Even more than usual."

"I'm fiiiine, Lisa-san. Don't worry about Moca-chan.~" Bending down, she grabbed the box-cutter next to the stack and slid the blade out, but not without pricking her index finger, and muttering a quiet word that Lisa didn't expect to come out of her mouth.

Startled, Lisa walked over and past Moca to the first aid kit and pulled out a bandage, handing it to her friend. She knew Moca was absentminded, but she's never been this... out of it. Bad wasn't the word she'd want to use in the context. "You're making it harder not to worry, Moca."

Wrapping the bandage around her finger, Moca took extra care to slide the blade out the proper way, cutting open the tape closing the cardboard box's top shut. Its contents now reachable, she dropped the box-cutter next to her, picked up the box and went back to the shelves.

Lisa looked down, her tapping had stopped once again. "It's because of that, isn't it?"

Moca almost dropped the box in her hands and turned around. Lisa didn't look back up at her.

"You still haven't gotten over that, have you?"

She turned around and continued stocking the shelves. She figured a response was better than nothing, and Lisa was right, as much as she hated to admit it. "Lisa-san, it's easy to say that when you have a cute girlfriend like Yukina-san.~"

Lisa sighed, finally looking back up, to see Moca walking back behind the counter with an emptied box. "I know how you feel, Moca. But it's not your fault. It's not Yukina's either."

"But, I..." Moca was about to speak again when the glass door slid open with an electric "ding-dong!". She turned around, calling her usual welcome before stopping halfway at the sight of the customer. Wrapped in a black jacket and a red scarf, her short black hair accented by a long red streak near the side of her face, and her red eyes glancing over towards the counter, she was easily recognized.

The two girls waved. "Ohhh, Ran!~ Did you come to visit poor Moca-chan?"

Ran shook her head. "Not really." Even through her cold expression, Moca could tell she was at least happy to see her.

"Raaaan, don't be like that!~ Don't push your cute Moca-chan away.~"

Ran gave her bandmate a small smile before walking over to the drinks to pull out a bottle of tea, and returning to the counter.

Moca welcomed her back with a smile, looking her straight in the eyes and saying "That's 200 yen. And a kiss.~" in her singsong voice.

Without missing a beat, Ran looked over at Lisa, who was sitting next to Moca and scratching at something on her nails. "Lisa-san, can I buy this from you instead?"

"Oh, ummm... sure?" With a confused smile and a nervous laugh, Lisa scanned the item and repeated the total cost, choosing to leave out the part about the kiss. Ran dug out a small folded piece of paper from her hoodie pocket, and handed it to her along with her pocket change.

"Awww, Ran. Giving your phone number away to other girls.~" Moca smiled, seemingly expecting the joking rejection from the vocalist. "You better not leave your best friend for Lisa-san. Yukina-san would be very angry.~"

Ran cracked a small smile of her own. "I'm not planning to." She grabbed her bottle and headed towards the door, waving to the two from behind her back.

The two waved back. "You know you love me, Ran.~ Come back anytime."

The doors slid closed once again. Lisa looked over from the doors back down to the counter to see Moca, now slumped over, resting her head on one of her arms.

"It was obvious, wasn't it..." she muttered, earning a confused "Huh?" from Lisa, though she didn't even hear the response. "I'm trying too hard... I can't even do this..."

Concerned by the lightning-quick shift in her friend's attitude, she placed a hand on Moca's back. "Moca, it's okay. Believe me."

Moca didn't respond.

* * *

_Outside the doors to CiRCLE, Afterglow had just left the studio, leaving the five childhood friends to begin their walks home, making idle discussion. As the last conversation stopped, Moca threw herself onto Ran, almost causing the two to fall over._

_"Hey Hii-chan?~"  The pink-haired bassist turned around, followed by the red-haired drummer right behind her. "The three of you should go ahead. Moca-chan has some secrets to share with Ran.~"_

_The other four members of Afterglow all wore confused expressions. Certainly, Himari knew Moca wasn't trying to exclude them from anything important, as childhood friends they were too close. She figured Moca just wanted to tease Ran more, and nodded with an "Alright." as she walked off with Tomoe and Tsugumi._

_"Moca?" Ran looked over her shoulder at the guitarist, who was waving to the other band members._

_"Ooooo, Ran must be dying to know what Moca-chan is talking about.~" A smug grin lit up her face._

_"Moca, stop that and tell me what's up. You're acting kind of weird."_

_Lifting her head from Ran's shoulder,  Moca swallowed her fears. Thankfully for her, Ran hadn't noticed, but the guitarist had begun shaking. She turned around, now face to face._

_"Ran, you've been Moca-chan's friend for so long. Everyone in Afterglow has, but none of them are like you."_

_Ran grew concerned. Moca wasn't one to trip over her words, or to say things in such a formal manner._

_"Hii-chan, Tomo-chin, Tsugu... Moca-chan loves all three of them, but Ran... Ran has always been something special."_

_Ran gripped the strap of her guitar case and braced for impact..._

_"Ran has made Moca-chan feel things she's never experienced, and helped her love her life like no one ever has. So... Ran... I'm..."_

_Ran's hands tightened. Moca lowered her head and raised her voice._

_"I'm... in love with you, Ran. And I hope you feel the same way."_

_Ran tried with all her might to smile. Her fingers relaxed, and she began to speak._

_"Moca... thank you for telling me this. I appreciate all of our band, but I especially appreciate you. But, Moca..."_

_Moca raised her head and her eyes widened._

_Don't say it, Ran... Please..._

_"I'm sorry. I can't accept your feelings."_

_Those words, like stabbing a hole through her heart, brought Moca to her knees._ _She tried to speak, but nothing came out of her mouth._

_"Moca?"_

_She looked up to see Ran, with a strange look on her face. A mixture of concern and guilt. Like she tried to help but she knew the damage she had done... what she did to poor Moca's spilling of feelings._

_"I'm... going home."_

_Moca raised herself from her knees, and began walking home, taking very few steps before breaking into a full dash home. Leaving her band, the studio, and most importantly, Ran, behind._

_Moca didn't regret anything, she told herself, again and again. Not the time she'd spent with Ran, not the hope she had spent on this confession, and certainly not the feelings she had built up that led her here. Those feelings that certainly wouldn't let her cry that night._

_Because Aoba Moca doesn't cry._

* * *

Moca finally raised her head from the counter. "Lisa-san.~"

Removing her hand from Moca's back, she watched as her friend walked out from behind the counter and grabbed her jacket. "Moca?"

Moca looked over at the counter one final time. "I won't be able to come into work tomorrow. If you see Manager-san, let her know for Moca-chan, okay?"

The glass doors slid closed, leaving Lisa alone in the store.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to quickly mention: I originally thought this fic was going to be 3 chapters, but after writing some more I'm sure it's going to be at least 4. If I draw things out it could be 5, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of that. Typically I write chapters between 1500-2000 words and this one ended up going over, so hopefully that can give a rough estimate. A little bit had to be cut out of this chapter and unfortunately a lot of it was the Ran POV I wanted to write, so that will be next chapter. With that being said though, I'll be updating this every 5 days so I have a consistent upload schedule.
> 
> (My old notes got deleted when I edited so I have to retype them qwq)  
> First of all, thank you so much for your support on the first chapter! It means a lot to me and really motivates me knowing that people like what I write. In fact I actually started writing this chapter early thanks to your support. I'm working on several different fics to write and the kudos and kind words motivate me to write my best for you guys! <3
> 
> Second, this was the chapter that got me to put "mention of suicidal thoughts" in the tags. It's not a lot but I know it's a heavy topic and I wanted to give warning beforehand.
> 
> With that out of the way, enjoy!

Ran wondered how it could be so cold, yet the rain pouring onto her hadn't turned to snow. What she was left with instead was hard, freezing rain that slashed at her face as she bolted down the downtown streets. Eventually leaning a hand onto one of the tall streetlight poles at the corner of the street, she did her best to catch her breath. Grabbing the hood of her jacket and tossing it forwards to cover her hair, the wind seemingly caught her attempt and blew her hood right off again. She grumbled and figured if she tried again it'd just get blown back as she continued to run down the streets. Crossing the street, she picked up her pace and continued on her way.

Moca laid on her bed, looking over her shoulder and out the window. Watching the people on the streets run from the pelting frozen rain was at least slightly entertaining, for a mischief maker, at least. It was interesting, Moca thought, how every person on the streets looked different. Different facial features, hair lengths and colours, wore such different clothes and even acted in different ways. There was one girl with long pink hair that almost reminded her of Hii-chan, if her hair was tied at the ends instead of all the way down. Though she could never imagine Hii-chan wearing such a... gray jacket. Gray didn't suit Hii-chan, not at all. There was also a man holding his jacket above his head, running towards what was probably the cafe a few doors down, which would be the closest public place to offer shelter. From her second-story window, she saw a leg exposed from under the jacket, which she imagined had to belong to the man's child. She thought that was kind of cute, at least. There was another girl, who was running down the street the fastest, a scowl on her face and a streak of red hair that would stand out easily in the crowd. Where could she be going, Moca thought. And finally, there was a man who was just coming into her view who-

Wait a minute.

What was Ran doing running down the street?

She didn't have long to think before her phone rang from beside her. It was Ran. Hesitantly, she picked up.

"Ran, what are you-"

"Moca! I'm coming in!"

Moca jumped. Why would she..? "Ran, wait, why-"

Ran had hung up.

She didn't even have the time to tidy up, she thought. That and how she'd be greeting her friend in what was basically her pajamas. Well, without much time to prepare, her door opened about a minute later, allowing a wet, cold Ran to step inside her hallway.

"Moca?"

Moca raised her hand, though her bedroom door was closed. "In here, Ran.~"

The bedroom door swung open as Ran looked around the room. "Moca?" Her eyes stopping when she found her target, sitting lazily on her bed, her phone and an open manga next to her. "You're okay, thank god."

Moca tilted her head. "I'm... okay? Of course Moca-chan's okay, Ran. What happened?"

Ran reminded herself to breathe, and her heart slowed back to a comfortable rate. "What happened? I should be asking you that, Moca." 

Though Ran wanted to receive an answer, she figured she wouldn't really receive one. Moca didn't know what she was talking about.

"Well, I... was concerned something happened to you. So I rushed over here." Ran took off her jacket, hanging it up beside Moca's, and sat down on the bed.

Moca didn't know what to think, a whirlwind of emotions started building inside her. "Concerned? Ran, that's so silly.~" Without thinking, words just seemed to come out of her mouth. "I don't know why you'd think that, Moca-chan is fine."

Ran looked down. "I got a text." Then raised her head back up to Moca. "From... from Tsugumi. I just hoped you were alright."

What did Tsugu tell her? Moca never told her what happened. "Thank you Ran.~" Moca lifted herself off the bed and onto her feet. "I'll get us drinks, you can stay here for the night if you want, it's late.~"

Ran shook her head in response. "No, I'm just going to go to sleep."

"Ohhh, can Moca-chan join you in bed?~" she laughed, receiving a blush from Ran, who said nothing and merely lifted the blanket up.

"Haha, Ran, you're so cute.~ But Moca-chan can just sleep on her couch."

And with that, Moca closed her door, leaving her bedroom and the red-faced Ran in it behind.

* * *

 Sitting on the couch, Moca's mind began to wander, unoccupied by the silent rooms of her living space. Ran was no longer there to keep it in place. To keep it together. Without Ran, Moca just seemed to... melt. She laughed a bit, clearly that was the best way she could describe the feeling. Ran was there when Moca had no one. When nothing could keep her together anymore, Ran was always there for her, a true best friend and a beacon of light on the darkest days.

But Moca had no clue how dark those days would get. What if Ran wasn't around with her?

Clearly she wouldn't always be around, after all. Moca's rejection spoke for itself, and that's what she always thought ever since it happened. It was only a week ago, yet everything seemed so hazy she could believe it had been months. The days just melded together after it happened, "washed out" was the best way she could describe it. Every day felt the same, filled with the same feelings and thoughts and nothing could shake her from it. Her classes, her job, her friends, even her band couldn't do anything to save her.

Maybe that's because all of them included Ran.

Ran was in the next class over, she visited the convenience store more often than she'd admit, she was Moca's best friend, and she was the vocalist for Afterglow. So much of Moca's life involved her. They were so close to each other, she swore she heard people talk about them together. One of her favourite things to hear was that they felt like two halves of the same person, completed together. They were so different yet so alike, and their personalities mixed beautifully.

And that was just it. Everything was so perfect for them, so how could she be rejected like that? What reasons were there?

Even knowing she couldn't confirm any of them until she heard from Ran herself, her thoughts flooded with anything she could grab onto. Was she dating someone else? There was no way, she would have known. Was she not interested in girls? That seemed strange, Moca had suspected Ran had a crush on Tsugu in middle school. Was it because of something Ran did? There's no way, Ran's life was perfect.

...It was because of Moca, wasn't it?

Ran didn't like something about Moca. There was something Ran hated. Maybe it was the way she teased the others, how absentminded she acted, the carefree way in which she spoke and acted, the way she flirted with her, maybe it was because she wasn't a skilled guitar player or because she asked Ran for help with homework during summer vacation where she would think Moca would just piggyback off Ran's work, maybe she said something wrong or she did something Ran hated and Ran never told her.

Clearly there was something wrong about Moca, that's what it was. She ruined something and Ran hated her.

After all, Moca knew she was too mean to the others. She was a total klutz, she even cut herself at work. Her carefree attitude was annoying and she flirted with Ran when she should have known she wasn't interested. She needed band practice because she kept messing up playing the band's songs and never doing her homework was just a dumb excuse for spending more time with Ran at her expense, she was being a bother. She said stupid things all the time and she wasn't sure she could pick out something she did wrong out of the multitude of messes she had made. Of course Ran wouldn't tell her. A simple rejection was all Ran needed to get the message across.

And even after the rejection, leaving Moca in this pitiful state... She wasn't even able to say how she felt to her best friend. Moca ruined everything yet Ran still cared enough for her, and she responded by shutting Ran out. Keeping your feelings in never fixed anything, she knew. She was the one who had reminded Ran of this time and time again, yet she couldn't even take her own advice. All she did was distance herself, making things worse and worse. If Ran didn't already hate her, she was just making things worse.

 

Everything was a mess. Moca curled up on the couch, unable to stop her rampant mind.

If only she'd done better. If she was someone Ran liked more, if she was a better friend, a better guitarist, if she could only handle a rejection like someone normal and not some disaster who just made everything worse, then maybe things would be okay.

Would Ran miss her if she was gone? What about the others? Ran had three other friends in Afterglow who she'd known for just as long as Moca. She could find another guitarist anyways, someone who was more skilled, and someone who was better than her. Ran was going on without Moca, leaving her behind.

Ran would continue her life, without being held down by a clingy best friend who couldn't get over a rejection.

Moca was just a weight on her shoulders. Wouldn't it be better for Ran if she lifted that weight? With Moca gone, Ran would-

 

Moca was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't hear her bedroom door open.

"Moca? You're still awake?" Ran rubbed her eyes, walking towards the couch.

Moca wiped her tears, hoping the darkness of the room would save her from being seen crying. "Awwww, Ran found me.~"

Ran smiled, hidden by the darkness. "Come on Moca, let's go to bed. You've been up too late." She offered her hand. Moca didn't take it.

"...I would if I cared, Ran."

Ran's smile was gone. Instead of saying anything, she simply grabbed Moca's hand and lifted her up, walking back towards the bedroom. Opening the door, Ran continued to guide Moca to the bed.

"I do, Moca. Let's get some rest."

Moca couldn't argue, climbing into bed, only inches away from Ran's face.

Her beautiful face, as she drifted off to sleep.

Did Ran love or hate her? Either way, she couldn't stay mad at that face. That cute, sleeping face that made her relaxed and felt like all her worries just washed away...

She wasn't sure how much longer she could stay awake.

* * *

It was almost like something straight out of a dream, waking up to Ran like this.

...What was Moca thinking? It was exactly something out of her dreams! Waking up next to Ran's cute sleeping face, her arms wrapped around Ran, keeping warm under her blanket and sharing their body heat to defend against the December winds (and Moca's poor heat insulation) was something she dreamt about, certainly more than once.

The only difference is, Moca wasn't holding a pillow in her hands, waking up with pain in her heart about how strong her desires were, unable to be fulfilled, as Moca continued to scour the land and fight for her one true love...

...Her one true love was in her arms, yet to be woken up.

Her one true love's phone had also gone off. Fearing it would wake Ran up, she shifted her body over to grab the phone and decline whoever was calling to disturb such a perfect girl's sleep.

It wasn't a call, thankfully. Though maybe the offender would continue to text her?

 

_**Imai Lisa [8:06]** That would work, I'll be there_

 

Moca had to take a second look at the name listed. Imai Lisa.

That text wasn't from Tsugumi. Tsugumi didn't know about her rejection.

After all, Moca only told one other person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a chapter, right? Ohhhhh I cried just writing this, poor Moca-chan...  
> In fact, this is an awkward time as any to mention that this story is also partially based off real events and I had to re-write my drafts a couple times to make sure I wasn't just projecting really hard. The events that happen in this story aren't based off anything real, but Moca's feelings and rejection are based off real experiences I've been through/am going through.  
> I think this is a good time to say that it's okay to write about events and feelings like this, in fact they can be amazing inspiration and writing feelings like these can make them feel more genuine. (It's like Ran writing her songs in the canonverse, basically.) I won't go on too much longer since I don't mean to ramble, so that's about all you'll hear from me this time. I've got some more writing to do. Enjoy, and look forward to next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I was looking at my update schedule and realized that since I'd been uploading every 5 days and I uploaded the first chapter on the 14th, that I'd eventually be uploading a chapter on Christmas Eve! I hope you all enjoy the third chapter of this fic as a Christmas gift from me to you.
> 
> These chapters are slowly getting bigger too, since this one is around 2200 words, where the first was just under 1500. I might just scrap the idea of having an estimated chapter size and just write the way I've been pacing my notes, which is what I've tried to do ever since the last chapter. I think that works best.
> 
> As always, enjoy!

Imai Lisa.

There was no way, right?

Obviously Ran wasn't interested in Lisa, they both knew she was dating Yukina. Hell, with all the PDA attempts Lisa had made since they started dating a week ago, they'd be lucky to find someone who didn't know they'd been going out.

One whole week ago. Damn, Moca thought. One week since Lisa set off that catalyst to burn down Moca's life, cutting the stems of her desires before the roses could bloom, leaving only her own thorns behind. Maybe that was too witty for her.

A simple proposal, that's all it was. She could still hear Lisa's cheery, optimistic demeanor masking her frustration of pining for a childhood friend. "Why don't we both ask them out?" What a stupid idea. A stupid idea that worked for only one of them. Only one of them ended up with a cute girlfriend.

Moca wasn't even sure what to think. Everything led to this newfound frustration for her co-worker, but what did Lisa do?

Was Lisa behind it all? The reason Moca was rejected, and set her up to confess her feelings? Did Lisa share some kind of secret of Moca's? She knew the third wouldn't be true, at least. She always told Ran secrets before Lisa, and Moca wasn't even the type to hide secrets in the first place. But every train of thought leaving Aoba station seemed to stop at Terminus Station: Imai. Not a fun ride, the fare wasn't even cheap too, paying with her emotions. How cheap. Moca would have to check the map on the commute, because she was certainly getting lost in thought.

Thankfully, her map was found in the form of two burning orbs of fiery red, bringing a smile to her face as they slowly opened and blinked. God, Ran was so cute.

"Morning, Ran.~ What a sleepyhead, you didn't even wake up before Moca-chan.~" A goofy smile couldn't help but stretch its way across Moca's face.

Ran smiled back. "Good morning. I'm surprised you're awake."

"Hey Ran?" Those damn red eyes looked up with a curious expression. She had to take a second before continuing. "You don't have clothes, right?~ You can borrow mine. Moca-chan can pick out a cute outfit for you.~"

Was Ran blushing? "N-No, I'll just wear what I did yesterday. I can run home for my uniform and I won't be too late to class."

"Ran, you don't have to be late because of me."

Ran shook her head. If she was blushing, it was certainly gone now. Way to blow it, Moca. "No, I came here, Moca. Anyways, you should get ready too. Do you have work?"

_"I won't be able to come into work tomorrow. If you see Manager-san, let her know for Moca-chan, okay?"_

Faking a smile wasn't Moca's thing at all. Hopefully Ran didn't see through her. "No, I told Lisa-san I'm taking today off.~"

"Should we schedule practice with the others?"

"No, it's alright, Ran. It'd be last minute anyways." _Oh god, Ran, please don't look concerned..._ "Tsugu will probably be sitting at the cafe anyways." Really? Bringing up Tsugu? Moca's thoughts definitely weren't on the map, she was certain of that now, at least.

Ran didn't seem to be confused by that, at least. Phew. "If Tsugumi is working, we could hold a small session without her if you want."

"Y'know Ran, that probably wouldn't be the best.~" _Ran, why do you have to be so persistent? And cute... But persistent nonetheless?_ Moca racked her brain for an excuse. "Tsugu might fear she's falling behind again.~"

Ran sighs. "Okay. We'll just go to class, then."

If Ran only knew how good of a fighter she was, chipping away at Moca's defenses like this. A small "Okay." was all Moca muttered, as the two began to prepare for the day ahead of them. Not long after, adding "Ran, I'll see you at school, but you'd look cuter in your uniform.~"

Unfortunately for Moca, Ran's response was turning her head away. Hiding her blushing sounded cuter to Moca anyways. A lot more Ran of Ran to do. "Well I have to, for school."

 

Ran looked out the window of Class 1-A. It had been twenty minutes into lunch, and it was only four of them at the table. Things weren't the same without Moca. And Moca wasn't the same without-

"Ran, everything alright?" She didn't even have to turn around to see a concerned Tomoe in the reflection of the glass.

"...Yeah."

 

* * *

 

_Ding-dong!_

The same black jacket and red streak of hair found their way into the same convenience store as the day before, but were only greeted by one of the two employees.

"Ah, Ran, you're here!" Ran stepped into the convenience store to be met with Lisa's typical warm smile, though it didn't last long. "And what about Moca, is she..?"

Ran shook her head. "She wasn't at school. She turned down any suggestion I gave her."

"Oh dear, that's exactly what I hoped wouldn't happen..." Lisa glanced down at her watch. "...Okay, I can go on break now. I think we both know we need to talk. Come with me."

Ran simply nodded and followed the taller girl into the break room of the store.

 

"Lisa-san... Thanks." Ran crossed her arms and looked down, focusing her gaze on something other than the girl next to her. "I'm glad we could exchange numbers like that."

Lisa let out a small laugh. "I'm glad. Moca says you aren't honest with how you feel, but I know you two care about each other. I just want to help her."

The two sighed, in perfect sync, but this was a bad time to point it out. "Moca taught me to share my problems with people. I don't understand why she isn't doing it with me."

A nervous glance from Lisa. "Well, you would know better than anyone how hard that is for someone, in that case... But I wouldn't worry about it, I know it's not your fault."

"...You know that?"

Shit.

"Y-Yeah! I mean... it's... I'm sure..."

Lisa knew she wasn't the best at lying to people. She looked up and sure enough, she was met with a glare. Shit, she deserved that, at least.

"Lisa-san. You need to tell me something."

She couldn't argue. It's not like she wanted to get on Ran's bad side either. And with how much Moca cared about Ran...

Lisa sighed. "I... Ran, I told Moca I wouldn't tell you this, but... I think it's for the greater good."

"What are you talking about?"

"Last week... Moca and I were talking about things during a shift. One thing led to another, and we talked about Yukina and... you." Lisa's trademark awkward smile. "I know that Moca confessed to you, and... I know you turned her down."

Ran froze. Of course Moca would have discussed this with Lisa, how did she not think of that?

"...Yukina said yes. We've been dating for the past week, but... I told Moca that we should confess on the same day, to make it easier for us. It would be better if we knew that we had each other's backs."

"And I..."

"Ran, don't blame yourself. It's just been hard for Moca, knowing all that. I'm sure she's mad at me too, but I know she can get through it and I know she's aware enough to understand that it's not anyone's fault."

"You're real nice, Lisa."

"There's a reason everyone seems to call me their mom," Lisa chuckled. "But I'm not worried about that. What I'm really worried about is... it's been a week and nothing has changed. She can't get over it, Ran."

Ran's eyes lifted from the floor, back up to Lisa, and back down.

"She can't get over you."

Ran emitted a heavy sigh. "Tell me more."

Lisa nodded, right before thickening the conversation with her own difficult question. "After you tell me why you turned her down."

 

* * *

 

The rain had picked up.

Several people ran for cover or took shelter in their houses to avoid the downpour, everyone save for one Aoba Moca, standing in the middle of a small park in the middle of the city, surprised the rain still hadn't turned to snow in the cold.

Maybe she should have gone out in more than a hoodie, but she would have time to lament over any cold she picked up after. Grabbing her phone out of her pocket, a smile crossed her face as she remembered that seeing Ran was more important to her than any stupid cold she'd end up with.

Re-reading the text she'd been sent from Ran and pocketing her phone again, it didn't take too long before the girl of interest showed up in the park, wearing an old stage outfit for Afterglow, of all things.

"R-Ran? What are you doing wearing that?"

Ran didn't answer, instead taking off her guitar case and pulling out the object inside, wearing the strap over her shoulder and gripping the guitar in both hands.

"Moca." Ran took a deep breath. "I love you."

Moca shook her head in disbelief, confused as all hell to see herself on what seemed to be the other side of the stage in an Afterglow performance, with an audience of one, and one fiery vocalist staring her down, with unwavering confidence. Ran nodded in response.

She'd smile if she could. She'd run up and hug Ran with the biggest grin on her face and tease her about how silly it was for her to wear her stage outfit like that and make a big deal of her love confession but how she'd love Ran forever and how she had waited for the day to come. If she could, if she could.

"But... why?" was all that came out of Moca's mouth. She stood still, unable to move, victim to Ran's sharp words and the pouring rain. "You rejected me, Ran."

Ran's expression softened. "I know, Moca. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you." Walking up to her soaked partner, she enveloped her in a hug the best she could with a guitar neck in the way of her shoulder. Moca didn't return the embrace.

"You don't deserve me, Ran. I understand why you turned me down," Moca sniffled. "All I'd do is drag you down, you'd have to deal with me like this and I... I can't do that to you, Ran... Your life is perfect..."

Ran patted Moca on the shoulder, eliciting a soft sob from the latter. "Everything's okay, Moca. I've lived my entire life with you by my side. If I could only see past my own weaknesses, you would've have felt like this. I know I turned you down and I know I hurt you, Moca. But this is my way to make it up to you."

Moca couldn't say anything, her thoughts overwhelming.

"Moca... my life is perfect with you in it. I love you."

And with that, Moca broke, tears running down her face in the arms of her childhood friend, wrapping her arms around the vocalist to finally return her hug, and sobbing in a messy mix of emotions that only Moca could embrace. No more words were spoken that night in the park, but the two knew each other's feelings perfectly, and in that moment, the rest of the world didn't matter to them. It didn't matter that they were getting soaked, or how uncomfortable the guitar neck made the hug. It didn't even matter how silly Ran looked wearing a stage outfit from a performance months ago.

All that mattered was they were together now. And Moca believed that nothing would ever change that.

 

 

 

Moca gave a triumphant "hmph!" as she tossed the box-cutter back in the drawer behind the counter of the convenience store. She wiped her work apron a couple times to remove anything that may have been on it, and placed her elbows on the glass, resting her head on her hands and looking up at her co-worker, smiling back at her and stocking some of the shelves.

 

"Lisa-san, Lisa-san. Let Moca-chan tell you about how great her new girlfriend is.~"

Lisa nodded, accompanied by a laugh, and Moca told her what she'd been missing.

With a smirk, she asked her first question. "Who wears the pants in the relationship?"

"Ran does. I take off the pants.~" Lisa laughed, and Moca couldn't help but laugh with her. After all, Moca was hilarious and what she really needed right now was a good laugh.

 

* * *

 

 

But as things stood, that laughter was what brought her back. Moca opened her eyes and shifted her gaze around, the first thing in her view being her pillow, and its new unrecognized damp spot she found herself resting on.

Of course it had to happen again. Of course it all had to be too good to be true.

 

Aoba Moca let her eyes close once again and began to cry, hoping her emotions would take her straight back to unconsciousness.

Unfortunately she wouldn't have a clue how long it would be. The pain always lasted longer than she had hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAVE SOME ANGST FROM KOURI. <3
> 
> A fun fact is that I actually first planned to end Chapter 2 with Ran and Lisa talking and then start Chapter 3 with the confession scene (which was a dream by the way, hopefully I explained that well enough in my writing) but after writing out the second chapter I released that and got a really evil idea of having the scene with Ran and Lisa lead into it, to make the reveal of a dream bigger since the two scenes seemed to flow very naturally.
> 
> Even though this is an angst fic I still kinda feel bad, haha. I just don't want to see my babies cry, especially Moca-chan... qwq
> 
> Next chapter may be the last one. I haven't started actually writing it yet, but looking at my notes, it seems smaller than what the other chapters have been so far, so right now it looks like it will probably be shorter than this one, and will still flow smoothly if it's one entire chapter instead of stretching it out to two.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is a few hours later than usual, I apologize, I had usually written chapters only a few days after releasing the previous ones and would just have the next few days to wait until posting them, however due to Christmas and being busy with other things I didn't have the time until just a couple days ago, where I didn't have enough time one night, and then spent so much time on the second night writing I told myself I had to stop and go to sleep. (That's what I'm doing while writing this right now, actually)  
> I think this chapter was a bit harder to write and maybe because I did most of it in one sitting, but I think writing the endings to stories can be difficult, because I know how I want the beginning and ending of the final chapters to be, but really struggle with the middle. Hopefully I can still deliver a satisfying ending. Though I won't say anything to close right now, and will instead leave that for the end. Enjoy!

Looking down at her phone, Ran pushed the button on the side, lighting up the device with a picture of her bandmates, and displaying the time: 5:20pm. She'd certainly been out later than she expected talking to Lisa, and definitely kept her away from her work longer than a normal break would have allowed. As long as Lisa said it was fine, she didn't have that much reason to worry. The two of them knew it was to help out Moca anyways, and one of them knew the other wouldn't mind taking a longer break to help out.

If anything, Lisa helped both of them out immensely. Though it hurt somewhat, Ran was happy to know Moca had someone to confide in after distancing herself from the band. Tsugumi was the kind of person who gave good advice, but you couldn't help but feel bad for asking her for help, knowing all her struggles with the band. If anything, the stress of the time they started the band led her to the hospital. Tsugumi was a sweetheart, but she also knew Moca wouldn't want to burden said sweetheart. Moca teased Himari a lot, so Ran figured she wouldn't have come to Himari about any actual problems, and for whatever reason she didn't talk to Tomoe either, probably because the two of them were too used to helping out Ran. She appreciated it, but that didn't really help when Ran was trying to figure out how Moca's mind worked. If Moca didn't go to any of her childhood friends, she went to Lisa, and Ran was happy there was still someone to help her. Not to mention all the help Lisa gave Ran.

The walk back from the convenience store was short, and she was thankful for it. Moca picked a good workspace, and was lucky to get one fairly close to her home. There really wasn't a chance of Ran going back to her house instead of her friend's, so she was able to pick up a few of the necessities and mention the situation to her father before going to school that day. Unfortunately, Ran figured she had to prepare herself for a rough time.

"Moca, I'm back." Ran stepped inside, taking off her school bag and listened for any response she could get.

That response ended up being none at all. Was Moca asleep? She knew the girl had typically slept more than the others, but she didn't expect her to be asleep when she got home.

Setting down the plastic bag from the convenience store on Moca's table, she walked over to the door of the bedroom. "Moca?"

No response again. Hesitantly, Ran gripped the doorknob. Surely she couldn't intrude on her friend's privacy, but...

_"I... Ran, I told Moca I wouldn't tell you this, but... I think it's for the greater good."_

For the greater good...

Ran twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

Inside was the same messy room, with Moca laying on her bed, presumably asleep.

"Moca? Are you awake?" Ran stepped towards the bed, the words coming out of her mouth in a whisper.

"Ran..?" Moca shuffled slightly under the covers. "R-Ran..." She lifted her head, facing away from the door and instead to the wall. The rest of her body was still, until she raised her arms from under her pillow and laid them on top, resting her head on top and beginning to sob.

The sounds were quiet, but the pain was loud. As tears ran down her cheeks, Moca gritted her teeth, unsure if she should push the girl stepping over to her out, or invite her in. She opted to stay silent once Ran sat down on her bed.

"Ran..."

Neither of them knew what to say. The empty silence occasionally filled the bedroom, dancing with Moca's cries, neither of them more often than the other.

"Ran, I missed you."

Ran placed her hand on Moca's back. Those were the same words she would always say, but nothing felt right this time. There was no carefree expression, no teasing about how Ran most definitely loved her, no clingy hugs... The words didn't even feel like they came from Moca. They only came from a tired and emotionally vulnerable girl, laying on her bed and caught crying.

"...I missed you too, Moca." Pressing about her absence at school wasn't the best idea, Ran thought. She wasn't even sure being there was the best idea, but Ran had run away from a lot of her problems in the past. She wouldn't run from Moca's.

"You... You came back late. Where were you, Ran?"

Ran sighed. She couldn't give the girl an honest answer but couldn't lie to her either. But there was no way _"I talked to your best friend after you left me to talk about how depressed you are because of me in hopes of trying to help you"_ could come out right in this situation. While it's what she would've liked to say, what actually came out of her mouth was a quiet "Just to the convenience store. I got you something. The bakery was closed on the way back, unfortunately."

Moca sat up, still facing the wall. "You went to see Lisa-san, didn't you, Ran?"

Shit, caught red-handed.

"Y-Yes. I did, but-"

"So you know."

Ran wasn't sure what exactly Moca meant, but she had a good idea. "Yes, if that's-"

"Lisa told you."

Ran looked down, though she barely had any time to respond before Moca got out of bed and stood up in front of her, seemingly still unable to face her.

"Lisa told you. Of course Lisa told you."

"Moca, what are you..?" Not enough time to finish her sentence before Moca dashed out of her room, still in her pajamas. Ran followed, unable to catch up before seeing her dash out the hallway, and then out the door. Crap.

Rushing out the door and sliding her boots back on, Ran didn't have to see Moca sprinting down the street to see where she was going, or what would happen when she got there. With a grunt of frustration, she ran off.

_\- - -_

_Ding-dong!_ The electric doors of the convenience store slid open, as Lisa looked up over her shoulder to spot what she had expected to be a customer.

What she didn't expect was to see a soaking wet Moca, panting out of breath, and about to fall over.

"Moca?!"

"Lisa, why did you tell Ran?!"

Oh god. Only when Moca raised her head to shout across the counter did Lisa see her eyes were red and swollen. This happened to be the last item on the "things Lisa wanted to happen during her after-school shift" and here it was, staring her in the face, demanding a response.

\- - -

Shit, of course the traffic lights had to conveniently change right after Moca crossed. Unfortunately for Ran, Moca seemed to have this effect on making traffic lights green conveniently when she showed up, and red when Ran showed up. On any other day, reminders of the teasing she'd earn for her red streak of hair matching the lights would bring a smile to her face. The only thing it brought was desperation.

The later she arrived, the less time she'd have to help Moca, or at least take her away from Lisa. Regardless, she'd have more time to help if she hurried, something she couldn't afford to do lest she find herself in a car accident. Gritting her teeth, the most she could do was hope to catch the next light. However, this one had just changed, allowing Ran to dash off and continue on her way.

_I'll be there soon, Moca._

 

* * *

 

_Ding-dong!_

That was two girls in the span of five minutes who entered through the doors of the convenience store soaked and out of breath. However, this time they entered to a scene of Lisa, holding a crying Moca in an embrace.

"Ran... take her back home. I'm afraid she'll get sick out here, and I can't take care of her here."

Ran nodded silently, approaching the two girls.

"If she needs anyone right now, it's you, Ran. Moca's been close to me, but... I know it's only because she started to distance herself from you." Lisa looked up at Ran, smiled, and then looked back down to the girl in her arms. "While I understand how she feels, I know I can't really do much to help. Unfortunately I'd say our relationship isn't quite the best right now."

"But Lisa-san, after all you've done..."

Lisa shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm sure things will be alright. Moca will be okay. But you really should take her back."

Ran nodded, silently. Taking Moca from Lisa's arms, she smiled, and began attempting to walk her out of the store. It ended up being a lot harder of a task than Ran thought, seeing as the crying girl seemed to latch onto her like some kind of... koala? The thought of Moca as a koala wasn't that accurate, making Ran chuckle as she stepped out the door.

Lisa smiled, and walked back behind the counter from the middle of the store, which had thankfully now been empty. She sighed and pulled out her phone, sending one last text before returning to work.

_**Imai Lisa [17:44]** You were right, I think everything will be okay now_

 

* * *

 

She still wasn't sure how she did it, but she had somehow carried Moca back to her bedroom. Wiping off the raindrops (or was that sweat?) from her forehead, she set Moca down on her bed, who had eventually stopped koala-clinging to her and had instead opted to being carried with her arm over Ran's shoulder. At least she had been somewhat cooperative with walking home. She was sure that had something to do with Moca's still tired body desiring the return to her bed.

What mattered now was they were back. Ran quickly grabbed the plastic bag from the living room and grabbed the cold coffee out of the bag, before realizing the last thing Moca needed was caffeine.

"Here." Entering the bedroom again, she opted to give her the bottled tea she got for herself instead.

Moca sniffled and rubbed her eyes before taking the bottle and twisting the cap off, taking a long drink. "Thanks, Ran..."

"Moca, I'm here for you. No matter what."

Moca paused, before shaking her head and taking another drink. "But you rejected me. You rejected me and Lisa-san let out my secrets." She shook her head again.

"Moca, look at me." Hesitant at first, she looked up after Ran's words, met with those confident eyes of flame she reminded herself she fell in love with. "I haven't rejected you, Moca. I'm still here."

"But Ran..."

"You left me, Moca."

Moca looked down. Although she didn't want to admit it, no joke or tease could get her out of this situation. Ran was right.

"Ran..." she started, only to be stopped with a hug, setting off more tears.

"No, it's okay. I'm still here. I stayed and waited here for you, Moca."

Moca said nothing, adjusting her body and crying into Ran's shoulder. The silence hung in the air for minutes, once again broken by Moca's sobbing.

 

"Ran... why is it so difficult? Everything is so difficult..."

Ran said nothing, only tightening the hug.

"There's so much wrong with me, Ran... I'm worthless, I can't even talk to you."

There was an argument Ran could make there, but she stayed silent.

"I'm too mean to Hii-chan, Tomoe and Tsugu get mad at me."

While Moca did tease them often, it was one of the things Ran loved about the band, and she was sure Himari did too. It only proved how close the relationship between the five of them was.

"Look at everything. My room is a mess, I sleep way too long, I didn't even go to school today and backed out of work..." Moca sniffled. "I stopped talking to you, Ran... I love you so much I hate it."

Ran shook her head.

"Moca... I still love you. You're better than you think you are."

"But Ran-"

Ran wouldn't let Moca continue, she had her time to speak. "I won't let you argue with me, Moca."

Moca continued to cry, wrapping her arms around her partner. Ran was always the stubborn type, after all. But even still, at least Moca knew one thing. She would always love her.

Running her fingers through Moca's hair, Ran smiled. 

Because if there was one thing Ran knew, it's that the two of them would stay together, the same as always.

 

* * *

 

"Manager, I'm done for the day! I'll be clocking out now."

Lisa hung up her work apron and grabbed her school bag. It was the end of her shift and she didn't want to leave anything behind like that one time two weeks ago. She wasn't sure Moca would ever let her forget that one. Pulling her phone out from the apron and ready to place it into her bag, she pressed the button on the side, as the screen lit up with a text.

_**Minato Yukina [16:02]** I hope so too. I wish Aoba-san and Mitake-san the best. You did well, Lisa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for following this story! I had a lot of fun writing it and this was the big thing I made my account in order to write. I recently became a fan of BanG Dream maybe about 4 weeks ago and I've been in love with it ever since, trying to get my friends to play it. MocaRan is easily my favourite ship out of them all but I love some of the others and I'm excited to write more, I'll tease a TomoHima fic that I'm currently working on, and a bit of YukiLisa I've already finished.
> 
> With all of that, I'll see you again soon, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> ~ Kouri


End file.
